STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
