It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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