Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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