The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
