Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
