I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
