With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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