Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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