i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
