I wish i was in the wii world.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
