I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
