I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
