Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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