Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
