He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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