Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
