I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
