i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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