I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
did you just send me my own nude
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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