don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
