So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
