Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
