sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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