I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
