yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
