Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
