for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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