I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
