i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
