It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
