ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
