Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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