Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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