Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
