I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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