We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
