I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sext me about skeletons
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
