playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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