that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
