bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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