Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
