Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
