how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
