Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm having to shit out rocks
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
