My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
