didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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