my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
