some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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