I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
