I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
