1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
handjob tips. give me some.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
