If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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