Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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