if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
