you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
