ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
