she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
