And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
